Our Journey...dont question..just trust

Iam slowly learning more and more every day that God isnt going to give me all the answers to my life. You would think i would have already learned that lesson by now haha..I am also slowly learning that the more I stand back and observe my own walk with God I've had to ask myself "How much have you really trusted him?"...sadly enough I havent, I ve always been one of those people that try to do everything on my own. Over the past couple of days i had time reflect on my walk with the Lord...and i find myself somewhat frustrated that my plans havent worked out the way i had originally planned.... its funny how when your going through something it seems like your days and weeks only get longer and you just search for the answers to make yourself feel better ...but it never really seems to come. I am starting to realize that I am not the only one that feels that way! Do you remember the first time you realized your life wasnt going as planned? You have a set of wishes,goals or expectations that just havent seem to be in the near future of reality for you? It happens to everyone and.... Well i am learning thats okay along with the fact that we all make mistake!!!! I am learning that its okay that somethings fall through and its okay that things dont go my way and its certainly okay that God doesnt give me all my answers at once no matter how desperately I want them.
Yesterday..late afternoon I was able to go Lamar Park and soak up some alone time that was most def. needed. I ran 3 miles yesterday ...and every single bit of it pass the 1st mile was so painful! I ve never been one to "talk with God" while i do things like running,walking,etc but after a few minutes after running through the pain..a verse I had recently sent someone very dear to my heart poped in my head... "I press on to make it my own,because Christ Jesus made me his own"-Phil 3:12...the verse just went on repeat in my head and i slowly "while through the motions of running" really felt the meaning and concept of that verse. 
You see lately I ve been having this pitty party wondering why in the world God just wouldnt allow things to just be a little bit eaiser...or for me to just not care so much...or ultimately just give me the answers..if what i was doing was through him and something i know without a shadow of a doubt he wanted me to do..then why did it have to be so hard? and why couldnt he just give me the answers to how he wanted me to go about doing it? ...it wasnt till early this morning that i finally realized that it doesnt matter how hard the job is, who is looking,watching,expecting us to fail,expecting us to succeed, telling us we are right or telling us we are wrong....if we arent making it our own because God made us his own...we wont succeed in anything. I also truly realized the meaning of "never alone" we arent alone...and some of us are so scared to be alone...we arent nor does God expect us to be.. nor does he expect us to go through any hardship alone...he is right there! Never in front of or behind us but right next to us... we just sometimes never feel him because we begin to feel like after we have failed so much that we are just out of reach of God ...thats where we become wrong... we get ourseleves into all kinds of trouble when we assume God must think and feel as we do!!! He loves us regardless of mishaps,mistakes,and faults. We have to remember that every step of our Journey is the Journey itself. We all fall short of the glory of God and we are never to far away from him to recieve his grace and never to good to not have his grace also! I ran across a quote that fit perfectly for me and my life right now that said " Patience and Perservance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish"... you see thats what we all need when we are trying to overcome something very big in our life... we need Patience with ourself and know that time brings healing with everything and we need Perservance.. We need to be determined that we will get through it and most importantly learn from it! I am also learning that the deeper the hurt or the more shattered the hopes have a way of blinding us into the character and beauty of God.
Thats what he does he lets us go till we cant go any further and then we eventually hit rock bottom... its up to us from that point on though... regardless Gods voice never leaves us and we know what we need to do!!! we eventually get so far away from God that he strips us of all that we have ever known... see for everyone its different what they maybe struggling with but for me..it would be with trusting God and not always trying to do things on my own..bc i then find myself in trouble and back to right where i was>
The point is that when we give up on God we usually fall into harmful behaviors that then in return become habit leaving us empty!
As i said earlier i like control, i like to know where God is going, exactly what he is doing, the exact route of how we are getting there and excatly when we will arrive. I also like to remind God of how i like things to go... but i am learning thats just not how he works... he loves us unconditionally and wants us to follow him..when we do we then begin to realize his wants for us soon become our own wants for ourselves and others in our lives.
So the leason i ve learned... you can allow dissappointment in yourself but you need to know that it will affect every relationship you touch...so just let go and let God and forgive yourself...also easier said than done but ask him to help you..he wants that..AND... my new goal for myself.... trust,let go, and enjoy the journey! and most importantly love on the ones he brings in my life!

YMel

Where to start is a great question... I feel like God has done so much in such a little time within my life over the past couple of weeks from when I last posted. Its so funny how when you decided to let God have his way with your  life that things start to fall in place! Words can not describe how blessed I feel to have God's grace and forgiveness everyday that I wake up. I attended a church service the weekend before spring break that Mr.Steve preached on how God knows everything about us from our head to our toes. Of course growing up you always hear that there isnt a move, thought, or word spoken that God doesnt already know... matter of fact he knows it before you even do or say it. But this particular Sunday it sunk in and really made its way through my heart more than it ever has before. God knows my every thought even when their bad he knows my every word even if they are decitiful and he knows my every move even if they are against him...BUT he is so deeply and madly in love with me and forgives me before even asked. I am learning that every girls main relationship shouldnt be with "Mr.Right" or "their better half" but with God. He loves us unconditionally and his love never runs dry. With an intimiate relationship with God and seeking his will and plan for your life all things seem to just fall in place.
Throughout the sermon I began to thank God for sharing this through Mr. Steve and allowing me to be so blessed with an amazing family that has so many imperfections but loves perfectly and to be surrounded by so many friends that loyality,trust, and advice always seem to lift me up!
  I had some time to be alone in the midst of all 36 girls I went to spring break with and was able just to reflect on how far I ve come through my life spirtually and emotionally. It never fails that your trials and tribulations, heart aches and tears always bring you closer to the Lord! God always seems to be right there next to me to see me through the darkest days. As I was laying on the beach one day i had girls to the right and left of me sun bathing and some up playing football or in the water.. I was able to look up and reflect on each person i saw and how God had used them as a role in my life some way or another..( deep thinker i know) but i was so over whelmed on how I know something personal about everyone i was with their trials and tears to their greatest victories, their funny moments, stressfull days, etc. Some of those times being that we expirenced them together. Regardless God has put them in my life to teach me or for me the teach them.
 I ve often wondered why God has brought some people in my life and taken some out, what makes him choose who he will and will not leave in my life or the ones the bring into my life. ----> i am learning that sometimes God may reveal why or why not but for the most part you have to just TRUST! Just within the past month he has taken away and brought back people into my life that i am thankful for no matter the reason why. I am making memories with all these people that will impact me and that ill never forget.
I had an amazing time on spring break becoming closer with everyone and meeting new ones also.  I was able to see Chris and spend some time with him and his friends... that was very eventful and much needed.To sum it up spring break was a success!

After spring break I was able to come back and relax! Me and Chris and a hand full of his guy friends attended the St. Pattys day parade which was def worth the 3 hour wait prior to it starting we went to lunch and afterwards met up with family at Austins ball game... followed with eating some more and enjoying each others company. Sunday was very relaxing as i spent another night in Brandon.

 Just through this break alone God showed/is showing  me day by day to be patient and trust in him and his timing. I am so thankful for everyone he has put in my life and will continue to bring into my life for specific purposes that he wants. I ve realizing i have so much ahead of me and there is no sense and trying to rush all through it. Enjoy all of it and live in the moment and soak it all up! I am not sure if life could get much better! Life itself and being alive is such a beautiful thing within itself!

Content & Blessed...

Throughout the past week i ve realized just how blessed I truly am! Its funny how God throws little things in there sometimes for you to look back and realize how far you have come and how lucky you are to have all the things that God has blessed you with. My family is my biggest asset and they are always there no matter how many have walked in and out of my life.. I miss them tremendously but God has made it very obvious to me just how blessed I am to have such a comforting and loving family that loves me dearly and vise versa. I am finally grasping the concept of learning how to be happy and content with life.. how not to get overwhelmed with the stress that hardships bring, and how to be Okay with just being me, Melissa... The person God made me to be! Why? because there is no reason to fret and push your own plans bc we have to eventually realize God will always have his way no matter what our plans are... the more you let go, live, and accept and glorify our wonderful God you will realize that his plans are what we want for ourselves to a "T"!
After a long hard week last week i got to enjoy a relaxing weekend that consisted of many activities!!! The girls and I celebrated about 5 girls birthdays friday and later went to celebrate with them at Hyper Crush ( alot like pretty lights, etc) which all proceeds went to St.Jude ... something i ve found myself being very passionate about over the past couple of years! They were tons of fun and we had a blast celebrating with all the girls!!

Saturday we all woke up early to have Inspiration with our sweet Little Sis's and i went to Bottle Tree Bakery where we got to watch people pass by running the Marathon that was hosted in Oxford this weekend along with everyones sweet little ones and their pets... Thats one of my all time favorite things to do in the Spring on the Square... Eat ice cream on warm days and watch everyone bring their dogs out, and strollers with sweet lil ones in it also!!! Saturday Night I attended KA initiation banquet with one of my best friends Logan and many others! We had a blast .... They had a great jazz band ... and tons of great food!

Sunday Morning we had to wake up early for our own Initation for all of our new and precious little DeeGees! Ellen came in town for pin Mary Claire! This was her 2nd time to come to the Alpha Psi chapter to pin ... me last year and now MC!! i know she was so happy to be able to share the special bond with Mary Claire... I love them both so much!!! It was a very special day for both of us!!!! Ellen was so excited on Bid day and being able to put her bid day jersey on.. i know she was just excited to be able to put on her pin and make her an official Deeeeg!!!

So as you can see this weekend was very eventful and fun-filled! After last week and the long, tiring, and some what emotional days that I had i am finally just learning to let back, and let go, let God have his way and just enjoy the ride of life itself... its way to short to worry or have and regrets, and waste anytime on anyone that isnt worth your time... God has brought people into and out of my life just within the past 2  weeks that I know he has huge plans and purposes of doing so! He has taught me and held me through every single bit of the "learning processes" through out all of it also! I encourage yall to sit back and do the same just let God have his way... the more we try to put together our "Happy Ending" or "perfect picture life" the more God will take it away from us... just let go.. let God lead you.. and live YOUR life.. No one elses!!!
Love you all,
Mel

Gods Plans are so much bigger than my own

Have you ever wondered why God brought some people into your life? Its a question I ve been  asking myself for a while now... and the minute you think you finally have it figured out God reveals something totally different to you... I am firm a believer that God puts people in our lives for many different reasons that sometimes we will never know. I ve caught myself asking God many times why he has brought or taken away someone  in/out of my life! You can never ask God why... his plans are so much bigger than our own you just have to trust he knows what he is doing up there... what God has told me though is that you have to love them unconditionally the whole time they are in your life.... Let them know you by your heart! I am someone that does everything with my heart.... i dont meet a stranger and i want to help and give to anyone possible! They are my very strong qualities but weaknesses at times also... I ve often wondered why i am the way I am i believe God allowed me in inherit traits and qualities of both of my grandmothers... My Nanny has one of the softest hearts of anyone i ve have ever known ... she loves nothing more than to sit down and talk to you about your feelings, wants, likes, dislikes....She is just a big ball of TLC!! and you see my MawMaw was one heck of a lady too ... although she is no longer with me i look back on her life and realize how strong she was in her faith... and how strong she was with life in general. I see so much of them in me more and more everyday!
Something we have to realize is that the minute we meet someone new ... they have just entered your life.. their status in your life is what is the difference.. whether they stay as an aquitance, friend, best friend, girl/boy friend, soon to be husband or wife.. or eventually your spouse one day. regardless we have all had many of these... even ones that we thought we could spend the rest of our lives with but that just wasnt Gods plan... and you see at first the pain is unbearable almost until God steps in a little bit more everyday to tell you " I have someone much better"! We have to realize that God knows what we want... he knows what we are looking for and as long as we follow him and glorify him  and most importanly LISTEN to him.. he will bless us with giving us that special someone that is all we have ever wanted and more..... as one of my good guy friends just got married not to long ago i asked him " Hows the newly wed life?".. he said "Melissa, better than i ever thought it would be... I ve been praying for my future wife for a really long time and when he brought me her he brought everything i ever wanted and more... so much more" I just giggled... I know that God has that plan for me and everyone else out there too! Heartaches hurt but you have to remember thats Gods time to really do some work in your life and maybe you will see that he is showing you what you really need... Bless the people that walk out of your life because they are only making room for the people that are coming into your life" .... If there is anything i have learned its that you dont want to waste your time on someone that God is telling you to let go of... because its only causing you more heartache...God knows he has all of our puzzle pieces and we only get one at a time.. just trust him! Your relationships should also glorify God .. dont let anyone bring you further away from him... look at it like this intergers--> (+) (-) positive person and negative person..... if  you have a Positive person + and negative person = negative relationship or negative + negative = positve relationship  OR positve+positve = positive relationship..... you choose.. but never allow anyone to alter who you are or bring you further away from God... you want someone that will bring you closer to him.. someone that will not stand in front of or behind you but BESIDE YOU.. someone that you get to know but more importantly WANT TO KNOW... be with someone that will know you for your love, and vise versa... be with someone that you want to show your heart to and they show you theirs also!!! Embrace the fact that God has someone out there for YOU.. and he knows what he is doing..and more than anything that God loves you... he knows who is suppose to come and go.. who is suppose to teach you things whether it be your wants or dislikes... who is suppose to make you stronger by your hurts or trials faced with them... He is only preparing you for "The One" and when he brings you that person... let them know you by your love!

YMel

Back in Oxford

So after two and half weeks of being back in Oxford i am just now getting the chance to Blog again... it feels good to finally have some free time to do what i want with this new time that has become available to me.. Normally i just nap and i am trying to break that habbit so i believe in place of napping ill start blogging so, therefore maybe this thing will be updated a little more than usual! ;) Oxford has been very cold! Walking to class is normally miserable! but classes themselves really havent been all that bad! I absolutely love my MWF classes one fifty min class and i am done! Tues and Thurs are normally pretty long for me but i enjoy the classes so it gets me through the day! The weekends have been fun here although i feel like all my days in between are starting to run together!! I am at that point that i am wondering why in the world i was so eager to get back in school and have a routine! I have been busier than ever this semester so far! BUT through out that time me and the girls have discovered a new game just dance which is a ton of fun... i keep promising myself i am going to invest in one!! We had the best time together with that! Me and Maidee really got wild with it one night!

I have also found  a new church since i have been back up here! I love it its very different than anything i have expirenced! Its called the Orchird and its currently taking the place of what use to be a funeral home! They have been taking this approach of the what the Old Testament says the church is... which the point of the story is that a church could be anywhere.. for People in Africa it could be under a shade tree... or many other various different places than a building with a steeple! Church isnt something you go to on Sunday Mornings for an hour and walk away with very little knowledge that if we are lucky holds over in our brains through lunch right after... which sadly is what it has become.. so they have taken the approach of very little rituals and just preaching the word of God is a circle of all college students.. I ve really enjoyed it!

Me and the Girls have been having our typical fun talks and nights sitting around with one another! We have gone out to eat or to the square for several peoples birthdays... there are so many people with Febuary Birthdays!!!

Mom came in town last weekend and we had a great time doing our typical lunch and shopping around town! She also came again this weekend and brought my Aunt, two cousins, and little brother. Travis and Wendy have never been to Oxford so we had a great time showing them around campus, Oxford, and the DG House! We also went to the baseball alumi game!

I am coming home this upcoming weekend all of my family will be in either Miami or Deer camp ( two extremes) this would also be the weekend i am coming home!! But Ill be able to see Daniel which i know i ll enjoy so much and ill be able to watch some Choctaw baseball!!!

Love YOURSELF the way you are......

So as i have sat here and thought about the reason i started this blog i cant help but truly believe that its done excatly what i had hoped it would do...Inspire me to be ME! I named the link "inspiretobe" because i was just that .... inspired, by  many very special people that God blessed me with having in my life! I wanted to start something that would help remember and reflect on times through out my life... bad and good, happy or sad! I wanted something that would always remind me of what i went through and why i am now the person i am because of those things. As many of you know i am a strong believer in the fact that your past and your hardships make you who you are, as i ve stated in several of my post BUT i  also believe that even those good memories make you who you are too... those memories that you can replay in your head over and over and they never get old... those breathtaking moments that only keep you wanting  coming back for more! Life is such a beautiful and amazing wonder ... and i hope that we can all keep sight in the fact that just being alive is a SIGNIFICANT blessing! I am someone that thinks with my heart in everything that i do! some admire that some say that its a road to many heartaches... maybe it is! but its ME! I am also someone that relates to everyone in some kinda of way... as i was on the phone with my best friend ellen tonight she reminded me that I relate to everyone in some type of emotion or another... and she is right but thats the side of me that i know God has called on me to do for the rest of my life ... Counsel. I am also someone that doesnt confuse words much... i tell you what i think, my mother has always told me i am brutually honest.. i figure well mine as well cut out all the sugar coating and tell people what they want to hear which is the truth believe it or not ..one day they will appreciate the honesty. I dont go for anything less than i deserve and i hate to see anyone settle. no one deserves that in any aspect of their life.... kids and people in need are my passion... I never want to "fix" or "change" anyone in need of anything in their life I just want to HELP them and with God next me i know that i can do just that for anyone he brings to me to do so with. I consider myself a fence rider.. i see both sides to everything.. bc what you have to realize is that there is always both sides to peoples feelings but the things i feel strongly about on EACH side of the fence I NEVER back down from... I am a girl who knows excatly what she wants in life.... I am also a girl that has a problem with not always knowing my next move or puzzle piece to life .. but just recently God has been showing me thats ok and that i better be ok with it bc thats his way regardless! I ve learned that if you want to hear God laugh just write down all your plans in life.. and give him the eraser bc he will or has already erased some of your plans you had for yourself... I prayed for patience and trust in God and i believe he has stuck me in just a situation that has brought me just the opprotunity to do BOTH.... you see i believe whole heartly thats what he does.. he doesnt just give you what you ask for he gives you the chance to obtain those things.... like for instance patience and trust!

I could go on and on about all the things I am and why and how ... and what I ve been through in life to make me become that way bc today and even this weekend i ve thought about this a lot.... but the ONE thing I know i am for sure is a daughter to a WONDERFUL God thats Grace is overflowing and his love never runs out for me! He will always love me for ME! He will always provide and his word is the truth and will always prevail! I have to constantly remind myself that he knows what he is doing up there.. and you just have to TRUST. And when your given opprotunities ... Take them.. throw yourself out there and be YOU ... your uniqness is what makes you different from everyone else... as the Dr Suess saying goes... "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”..... so I encourage everyone to be you... Fall in love with life and know that everyday holds the possibility of a miracle... stop waiting and start doing with your life.. bc after all it is your life...its your time to shine.. for everyone that walks out of your life...bless them bc they are only making room for those that walk into your life...realize that your happiness will always play hide and seek with you if you look for it in all the wrong places...dont be scared to be different.. authenicity is something i ve always thought  as a trait to be admired....Consider the fact that your trials maybe your treasure....never live in your past....people only cling to the past out of fear that nothing else better will come along, and thats so far from the truth....choose to forgive those that have hurt you... you take away their power .... and when the past calls press ignore it has nothing new to say ...  never take no for an answer when your going after something you love ....... and  make no apologies for what you ARE and for what your NOT.

So Inspire to be you... just you, whoever that maybe never let a soul in the world tell you that you cant be excatly who you are! Take chances and BE YOU when you do... and trust God .... he is always there.

" A joyful heart makes a cheerful face"-Proverbs 15:13
Smile and be you and have Joy in your heart that he Loves you for YOU!

YMel

Warm,comfy,and Cozy....

I feel like i ve been dealing with hypotherma all day! This has been the first real day that its been cold in Mississippi which is great for me bc i love having warm days in December, unlike most of the people i know... but then again thats why i love Mississippi... anyways so now i am in my Warm covers,Comfy pjs, and I am Cozy with my coffee mug in hand- full of hot chocolate...so when i got in bed... i got to thinking about the meaning of Warm,comfy,and cozy... and everyone that knows me knows that i am a deep thinker maybe sometimes too much... but what does it really mean to be warm,comfy,and cozy?! For some its sitting next to a fireplace, sleeping under a heated blanket, or sitting next to a bonfire. For me it means a lot of things for instance.. what i am doing now in warm blankets, comfy pjs, and cozy in my bed, other times i get that feeling as i jump into a warm car thats been heated after being outside, sometimes its stepping into my house after i ve been running in the cold, and other times its putting on that big favorite sweatshirt of mine with my favorite scarf and UGG boots!

Regardless we all have things that make us feel warm,comfy,and cozy inside! Webster says the defintion of comfy is :

comfy-providing or experiencing physical well-being or relief

So the real question is what makes us comfy, who do we like to get comfy with, and most importantly who or what do we turn to to make us comfy?... I am sure most of you are thinking "Melissa where are you getting at with this?" but think on it and ponder it!

Do you know that there is one person who would love for you to turn to him and say "Ok make me comfy,warm,and cozy!" and that person is our God... God is the one person who we are suppose to rely on to make us warm,comfy,and cozy..and in his arms we can never feel cold or frigid. I think about this and it really kinda makes me sad... why? because i feel like lately i ve lost the feeling of that comfy warmth that God brings. I feel like sometimes i am going outside without that big comfy sweatshirt,scarf,and UGG boots and i am just running around outside never coming inside for relief or better yet i am running circles around that car thats heated while its below freezing! as I stated in my last post my family has been going through a rough time! With the loss of many things including a very significant family member... i had mentioned to a friend the other day how i feel like i ve been praying and i just feel like i am not feeling Gods warmth like usual! and it finally dawned on me that i am  not running to that warm car or warm house anymore (God) -- i am running to unsignificant things like other people or things to give me comfort!

I feel like many of us do that a lot! A great example is my childhood pet that I had for 16 years, Abby! She was the cuttest lil dachsund you had ever seen...  that dog was my baby... i loved her beyond words and still do! But when momma use to bring the clothes out of the dryer to fold them she would run straight to that pile of warm clothes because she liked the warmth of it! As christians thats what we should do! When God holds out those big comfy arms of his we should run right to them and let him comfort us and take all of our fears,griefs, and sad moments away! The difference between warm clothes and God is that eventually those warm clothes start to become not so warm and Mom only washes and drys clothes every so often where God is always there and always willing to take your fears away and wants to COMFORT YOU!!!

Let him! I am learning more and more everyday that you have to let God in! You have to lean on him and expect him to keep you warm,comfy, and cozy! The minute you start relying on anyone else or anything else he will take that away from you and you will be left in the cold! He died for US! He loves us uncondionally! I use to play with my mom and dad when i was little by saying " I know someone who loves me more than you do?" ofcourse its followed by "who?" .. and i would say "GOD"... and thats so true.. think about the one person you love the most and  it could never amount up to how much God loves you and that person!

I, myself have got to learn to start relying on God to fix everything and realizing God will provide!! He will provide that comfort and bring us that warmth.. and in return we will feel cozy! I am beyond blessed with the people God has put in my life.. so i know regardless i am never alone and that I have people i can turn to and that I will turn to when troubles come my way or my family's way! But i know he will not leave us out in the cold.. he wont lock the doors to that warm house or warm car.... as long as we call on him he will always be there to give you that warmth!

So next time your outside and your cold and you finally get to step into that warm place... remember to always step into Gods arms too and there you will find that warmth and comfort... dont live your life not trusting God! so let me leave you with this bible verse...which says we do not have to worry go to God about everything and you will have that warm, comfy, and cozy place within Gods arms! He will provide and will take care of you!

 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all that He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

 

So the next time a challenge is coming your way or you feel yourself in the cold remember to bundle up in Gods armour and know that in his arms you will stay warm!

I love you all!

YMelissa